Yeah, he's with me.....

Basically this is the guy I continue to date Over and Over again.

I love weird stuff.

Sam3


listen to Little Dragon (so good!)

Rocket Man

Did you know that the song Rocket Man was based on a short story by Ray Bradbury in the book The Illustrated Man? The book is amazing. You need to read it.

"The Rocket Man" — An astronaut's job keeps him away from home for long stretches of time, so he has little time with his wife and son, only visiting them for a period of three days at a time. The story is told from the perspective of the son, who holds an interest in becoming an astronaut too. However, his father explains to him that while the stars are beautiful, what he really wants is being with his family. Sensing that his wife is unhappy with him being at home so little, the father makes a promise to the son that he will be quitting his job after his next mission to spend more time with them. At the end of the story, the son and his mother learn that his ship fell into the sun, and from then on, they do not venture outside during the day in remembrance of him.

A Garage Sale of Memories

I had a garage sale at my house this weekend and amongst the chaos of people trying to buy everything I own for less than a dollar, I found one thing that was priceless in the pile of junk...our scrap book. I forgot I had the book I made for him mixed in with my things. I must have put it in the garage almost a year ago when things went bad to keep my self from obsessing over the pictures, notes and cards contained inside this book. Ironically, this scrap book had to pop up just when I started feeling like I had taken a few steps forward for the first time in 11 months. All it took was opening this book and I immediately took a bunch of steps backward... into what is probably the wrong direction.

The contents of our scrapbook do not match the portrait of the picture he paints of our relationship....the one where we are always fighting and he thinks I was so unhappy. Actually, the contrary is true. These photographic moments are the glue that holds a relationship together. No one is there with a camera for the fights and the tears because those aren't the times we are supposed to dwell on- they are what happens in between the good stuff. Its the moments contained in these photos that get you through the bad times. They are the moments worth fighting for, the moments that make you want to chase after the girl you once loved before she puts away the scrapbook and never takes it out again.

Swoon

Love this artist and her story. Totally romantic ;)

Swoon, On Becoming SWOON
My boyfriend at the time was very influential in my work. He was born and raised in Manhattan and we were both in love with the city. He woke up one morning and said to me, “I had this dream last night that you were a tagger and you wrote the name SWOON. We were running from the police and all I could think about was how beautiful your name was.”

Later, when I started doing a lot of work on the street, I remembered the name SWOON from his story. I had also read about a time when a woman would wear corsets so tight that she would pass out. They romanticized it and called it a swoon. It was as if the moment overtook her. But in reality she passed out because she was wearing restrictive fashion. And I thought that it was good that women have evolved to a place where we’re not doing this to ourselves anymore. I look at the word SWOON as a body of work, not as my name. SWOON is not me. I’m not Swoon. SWOON is like a way of thinking. It’s a body of work. It’s a series of interrelating thoughts."

Read the whole article, its really good.....
http://swindlemagazine.com/issue04/swoon/

I want to be the girl with the most cake.

Brittany this one is for you. Get mad. It helps ;)

I want to be the girl with the most cake.
Love him so much it just turns to hate.
I fake it so real I am beyond fake.
And someday, you will ache like I ache.
He only loves those things because he loves to see them break.

Somebody leave a light on.......

Since we are on the subject of mothers....
Even if you are not a Tori fan, you have to appreciate the piano in this song. It makes me miss piano lessons. Too bad my 40 year old piano teacher had to start stalking me when I was 15 and my Dad banned me from piano lessons for life. I guess my parents realized there was a problem when the guy composed numerous songs for me and started leaving me roses at the bottom of my driveway.

Evening

I watched the movie Evening tonight and basically cried on my sofa for 1hr and 45 min. This movie is so sad that it rivals Steel Magnolias and Terms of Endearment. The movie is about 2 sisters who are about to lose their mother and they try to piece together the segments of stories she has told them about her life when she was younger and the "mistakes" she had made.
This movie makes you remember that your mothers weren't always moms and wives. Our mothers cried over boys, had fights with their best friends, got fired from jobs and probably even got really drunk one night and had a one night stand. The problem is they don't always tell us that stuff and sometimes we need to hear it. Sometimes we need to hear about the things that happened BEFORE us and before our fathers came into the picture because it makes us realize that history does repeat itself and we are not that much different than our mothers deep down inside.
My mother is the strongest person I know, the ONLY person in the family who can curse at my father and walk away unscathed. When I was younger my parents fought alot behind closed doors. I was too young to really know what they were fighting about, but I knew it was bad. My mother would eventually walk out of the war zone wearing huge sunglasses (at night in the house) to hide her tears and she would talk to me in her calmest voice like nothing was wrong and she would go back in the kitchen and cook dinner for my Dads family....the same one that they were fighting about 30 minutes earlier. My mothers strength is something I will never know. I have NEVER been able to hide my emotions like she can. When I was 15 and crying hysterically on the phone to a boy that had just dumped me, my mom took the phone out of my hands and told me to never let a man see me cry. I wish I had listened, because I have shed way too many tears in front of way too many men and it did neither me nor them any good and didn't change the outcome of the situation. I still ended up dumped, but instead of walking away proud with my sunglasses on like my mom would have done, I walked away with mascara stains running down my cheeks, swollen eyes and a blotchy complexion. Not exactly the last image you want the "last greatest love of your life" to have forever embedded in his head.............
My mom also told me to never date a bartender and I didn't listen to her then either. I had to find out the hardway.......and ended up walking away with mascara stains running down my cheeks. Our mothers don't dream this stuff up, they lived it and survived it and are attempting to save us from the same heartbreak. Unfortunately, we rarely listen to our mothers.

Do you speak-ah my language?

No One

Alicia Keys is beautiful and talented, and she actually has curves?!

Right Coast Left Coast

I moved out here from the East Coast over 5 years ago now. California changes a person. It gives you a warped sense of reality and slowly chips away at your morals and values the way the ocean wears down the coastline over time. Before you know it you are a platnum blonde with a spray tan, who is scared to eat carbs and stresses out inbetween botox appointments.
There was a time in my life when things were simpler. Back East I could walk into a bar and actually feel pretty. Its not that the people there are any less attractive, its just the superficial stuff is way less important. Men look at your face and your smile, they aren't looking at your pedicure and your boob job-betting if you went through the armpit or not. People shop at Old Navy and Gap because jeans and a cute top will take you anywhere . Coach handbags are the coveted bag of the season and are considered REALLY expensive (and that bag came from the outlet store). Nobody calls you out for caring a fake Mark Jacobs bag. That stuff just isn't important.
There is a sense of family and committment on the East Coast. People want to get married. They want to have kids. In CA the word "marriage" is an instant buzz-kill in any relationship and men run from the word faster than if you told them you had herpes. (I honestly think most guys in CA would date you if you had a raging case of herpes, but they wouldn't date you if you wanted to get married someday.) People eat dinner with their families on a Sunday, they live close by their parents. They have big Christmas's and family reunions involving pig roasts or crabs and beer. In CA people don't even know who their real parents are because they have been remarried and divorced so many times and usually their Dad is dating someone younger than they are. Meanwhile their mom is cougar-ing it up at some local bar after her yoga class, face lift consultation and pet psychic appointment. And this is what the youth of CA have to look forward too- no wonder everyone is so freaked out by marraige.

Whenever I need a reality check its as simple as booking a ticket home. A place where a yard is more than 1/8 of an acre, a pretty girl doesn't need chin implants and a breast augmentation, clothes are just clothes, valets don't park cars in order of most expensive to least expensive and avocados are an alien fruit that people may have seen once or twice in the grocery store,but no one has ever eaten.

In her Shoes

"There isn't anyone you couldn't love once you have heard their story."
-Mary Lou Kownacki

It is really important to take the time to hear a persons story before judging their character. I just recently heard a story about a person who was made fun of for taking to many freebies from a giveaway at work.....little did those around her know that she had just been through a horrible custody battle over her kids and that her children were basically reduced to wearing rags. The clothes she was talking were for her kids, to spare them the embarrassment of getting teased by their peers at school.
Things like this happen around us everyday. Count your blessings and let others live their lives the way they choose without judging their character. We all have moments we are and aren't proud of.

Welcome to my neighborhood....

"You bring all you ever were and are into any relationship you have today."
- Mister Rogers