I personally am addicted to two things. Pepsi and HIM. It all began years ago when I looked into his sad eyes and decided that I personally could lift the weight of the world off his shoulders. I was wrong.
We have all been addicted to something. We can be addicted to drugs, coffee, video games, work, exercise, cigarettes, alcohol....the list goes on and on.
Emotional addiction is a hard thing to break. We all know the feeling. I'm just going to be the first one to be brutaly honest about the type of addiction better known as infatuation.....
Addiction begins when the object of your adoration bestows upon you a hallucinogenic dose of something you never even dared to admit you wanted. Its like an emotional 8 ball of really good coke (I would assume)- a thunderous love and lots of nervous excitement.
Soon you start craving that intense attention with the same hungry obsession of those junkies you see on the street and think "how did they let it get that bad?"
But when a drug is withheld you turn sick, you act crazy and feel depleted and you start to resent the dealer that got you hooked on the stuff in the first place. And now he won't give you the good stuff anymore- despite the fact that you know he still has the good stuff somewhere (way down deep inside him). God damn him...he used to give it to you for free.
Now you are skinny and crying in a corner somewhere certain you would sell your soul just to have that thing...that feeling...that love... just one more time again.
Meanwhile the object of your adoration is now repulsed by you...by your neediness and your weakness. He looks at you like you are someone he has never met before, let alone someone he was ever in love with or passionate about. The ironic thing is- you can't blame him. You are the not the confident girl you once were. Look at yourself. You are a pathetic mess, unrecognizeable to your own eyes.
This deal is over and I gotta get off this drug.
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