Right Coast Left Coast

I moved out here from the East Coast over 5 years ago now. California changes a person. It gives you a warped sense of reality and slowly chips away at your morals and values the way the ocean wears down the coastline over time. Before you know it you are a platnum blonde with a spray tan, who is scared to eat carbs and stresses out inbetween botox appointments.
There was a time in my life when things were simpler. Back East I could walk into a bar and actually feel pretty. Its not that the people there are any less attractive, its just the superficial stuff is way less important. Men look at your face and your smile, they aren't looking at your pedicure and your boob job-betting if you went through the armpit or not. People shop at Old Navy and Gap because jeans and a cute top will take you anywhere . Coach handbags are the coveted bag of the season and are considered REALLY expensive (and that bag came from the outlet store). Nobody calls you out for caring a fake Mark Jacobs bag. That stuff just isn't important.
There is a sense of family and committment on the East Coast. People want to get married. They want to have kids. In CA the word "marriage" is an instant buzz-kill in any relationship and men run from the word faster than if you told them you had herpes. (I honestly think most guys in CA would date you if you had a raging case of herpes, but they wouldn't date you if you wanted to get married someday.) People eat dinner with their families on a Sunday, they live close by their parents. They have big Christmas's and family reunions involving pig roasts or crabs and beer. In CA people don't even know who their real parents are because they have been remarried and divorced so many times and usually their Dad is dating someone younger than they are. Meanwhile their mom is cougar-ing it up at some local bar after her yoga class, face lift consultation and pet psychic appointment. And this is what the youth of CA have to look forward too- no wonder everyone is so freaked out by marraige.

Whenever I need a reality check its as simple as booking a ticket home. A place where a yard is more than 1/8 of an acre, a pretty girl doesn't need chin implants and a breast augmentation, clothes are just clothes, valets don't park cars in order of most expensive to least expensive and avocados are an alien fruit that people may have seen once or twice in the grocery store,but no one has ever eaten.